[Some time in the evening, Shiro can be found on the first floor of the inn, staring at a key on a chain. He seems to be deep in thought, which means it's the perfect time to crash the party and bug him.]
(PERFECT TIME to crash someone's party. Claude is just going to take a seat on a couch or something, flopping himself down on it loudly and leaning back.)
(Sitting up straighter now! You know that look a student gives you in class when they've been slacking off and just twirling their pencil around at their desk and then the teacher says something interesting so they sit up real attentive all of the sudden? That's Claude. )
So it's a magic key that takes you to your office whenever you want... couldn't you get a more interesting key? Like to the kitchens or library?
Why would I want to go to either of those places all the time? The office is where all my things are. Being able to pop into there at any time is more useful.
(At least he has that. Anyway, he sighs. It's. Not easy confessing to anything when you're Claude von Riegan and you're used to lying and covering up the truth all the dang time but,)
I said some things at the trial. (...) Got someone in some hot water.
(Alyssa.)
I'm sorry for some things. Causing them trouble and stress, being wrong... but at the same time, I'm not completely sorry.
I was wrong, for a start. It all worked out in the end and at least, we were able to clear one person that had some suspicion cast on them but I know luck was a factor.
It made the most sense with the evidence at the time but it didn't fit perfectly. But last time, one of the problems was that once a name was presented, there wasn't enough time to counter it. So I tried to present it earlier than later. But then that distracted from things and wasted resources.
But I'm most sorry for the stress it must have caused her. I put her on the spot and well... I don't mind people accusing me of things, if I'm being honest. I'm used to it. But that doesn't mean it's acceptable to put others in the same position.
I don't think putting her on the spot was wrong, even if it did cause her to stress. We're in life-or-death situations here, and stress is to be expected. It's needed, to solve the crimes here.
Likewise, you weren't wrong for pushing a theory. Could you have pulled back once you found evidence that didn't fit her? Yeah, probably. But second-guessing your actions will only make it more of a waste, yeah? Admit when your theory is wrong, and keep going.
Maybe it wasn't wrong, but it wasn't right either. (Putting her on the spot.) I can admit I was wrong and I don't plan on letting it hold me back but...
I keep making decisions like this. Things that are wrong but right... right but wrong. I can't tell if things are getting better or worse.
It sounds like you've put a lot of thought into this. And the fact that you're considering these things in the first place- how she felt, whether your actions were right or wrong, what it means going forward- speaks well of your leadership skills.
But the issue here isn't just "was it wrong?" The issue here is "there are extenuating circumstances, so how does that change the situation? Is what's wrong normally still wrong now? How do I decide if it's wrong or not when I've never been in a situation like this before."
I'll let you know right now: I'm supposed to say 'you should follow the rules all the time, circumstances don't change anything.' But in practice, I know that is wrong too.
I've been thinking about it for awhile, long before this weekend.
(And that's a confession-- something that has been on his mind for awhile,)
Like I said, there are things I'm sorry for and things I'm not sorry for. Being sorry isn't going to take back anything or make those things right, though.
And in the end, I just have to live with the consequences.
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timeasmymeasure
Week 2, Sunday
Date: 2020-10-19 05:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-10-19 02:41 pm (UTC)Got anything you wanna talk about?
(Hmm kind of like earlier this week!)
no subject
Date: 2020-10-19 02:51 pm (UTC)It's annoying to get something like this but have it not work.
no subject
Date: 2020-10-20 12:03 pm (UTC)Wanna explain? I get the feeling there's more to this than just trying out a few doors here.
no subject
Date: 2020-10-20 12:11 pm (UTC)It is that simple, actually. This key, if it were working, would make any door I used it on open up to my office back home.
no subject
Date: 2020-10-20 12:26 pm (UTC)(Sitting up straighter now! You know that look a student gives you in class when they've been slacking off and just twirling their pencil around at their desk and then the teacher says something interesting so they sit up real attentive all of the sudden? That's Claude. )
So it's a magic key that takes you to your office whenever you want... couldn't you get a more interesting key? Like to the kitchens or library?
(He's a hungry and curious boy.)
... Too bad none of that works here.
no subject
Date: 2020-10-20 01:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-10-21 10:19 am (UTC)(Food is important. He has his priorities.
But none of that matters here when this key just doesn't work! So he sighs and leans back on the couch,)
Are you still taking confessions? Or do I need to come back during office hours?
no subject
Date: 2020-10-21 01:10 pm (UTC)[>T]
I can take confessions now, what is on your mind?
no subject
Date: 2020-10-22 06:26 am (UTC)(At least he has that. Anyway, he sighs. It's. Not easy confessing to anything when you're Claude von Riegan and you're used to lying and covering up the truth all the dang time but,)
I said some things at the trial. (...) Got someone in some hot water.
(Alyssa.)
I'm sorry for some things. Causing them trouble and stress, being wrong... but at the same time, I'm not completely sorry.
no subject
Date: 2020-10-22 01:45 pm (UTC)[Sort of. He got distracted once he figured a few things out, but.]
Why not go over what you're sorry for, and what you're not sorry for?
no subject
Date: 2020-10-22 02:22 pm (UTC)I was wrong, for a start. It all worked out in the end and at least, we were able to clear one person that had some suspicion cast on them but I know luck was a factor.
It made the most sense with the evidence at the time but it didn't fit perfectly. But last time, one of the problems was that once a name was presented, there wasn't enough time to counter it. So I tried to present it earlier than later. But then that distracted from things and wasted resources.
But I'm most sorry for the stress it must have caused her. I put her on the spot and well... I don't mind people accusing me of things, if I'm being honest. I'm used to it. But that doesn't mean it's acceptable to put others in the same position.
no subject
Date: 2020-10-22 02:46 pm (UTC)Likewise, you weren't wrong for pushing a theory. Could you have pulled back once you found evidence that didn't fit her? Yeah, probably. But second-guessing your actions will only make it more of a waste, yeah? Admit when your theory is wrong, and keep going.
no subject
Date: 2020-10-22 03:10 pm (UTC)I keep making decisions like this. Things that are wrong but right... right but wrong. I can't tell if things are getting better or worse.
no subject
Date: 2020-10-22 03:55 pm (UTC)It sounds like you've put a lot of thought into this. And the fact that you're considering these things in the first place- how she felt, whether your actions were right or wrong, what it means going forward- speaks well of your leadership skills.
But the issue here isn't just "was it wrong?" The issue here is "there are extenuating circumstances, so how does that change the situation? Is what's wrong normally still wrong now? How do I decide if it's wrong or not when I've never been in a situation like this before."
I'll let you know right now: I'm supposed to say 'you should follow the rules all the time, circumstances don't change anything.' But in practice, I know that is wrong too.
no subject
Date: 2020-10-23 10:29 am (UTC)(And that's a confession-- something that has been on his mind for awhile,)
Like I said, there are things I'm sorry for and things I'm not sorry for. Being sorry isn't going to take back anything or make those things right, though.
And in the end, I just have to live with the consequences.
(And he just. Shrugs.)
You said Shima was your student, right?
no subject
Date: 2020-10-24 01:33 am (UTC)[Claude should be okay though, especially since Alyssa didn't die.]
Aaah, in a way. He would be my student, but from my point of view school hasn't started yet. He's from later in the year than me.
no subject
Date: 2020-10-24 09:15 am (UTC)(Yeah, that's all he's going to say about that.)
So that means you know Izumo, too.
no subject
Date: 2020-10-24 09:10 pm (UTC)